Unconditional love is love without condition. When love is based on genuine care, appreciation, and respect for one another, you don’t just stop loving someone just because they didn’t do something that you wanted. If you have to earn love and there are strings attached, it isn’t unconditional, and it may not even be genuine love. For example, have you ever heard someone say, “If you do this for me, I’ll love you forever?” It’s a joke, of course, but it points up a common fallacy about unconditional love. Unconditional love sounds great, but what is it? We refer to it all the time. Over time, you can even begin to lose your sense of self if you’re trying to please this other person rather than ensuring that your own needs are met. So, perfectionism isn’t exactly a positive thing, and can have negative impacts on your relationships and especially on yourself. One study showed a connection between perfectionism and alcohol-related problems in college student. The problem is that perfectionism is associated with mental conditions like depression and anxiety. When someone loves you only when you please them, it’s easy to get caught up in trying to be perfect. Then, if they ever fail to give that to you, you withdraw your feelings of affection and passion and your acts of love and intimacy. They do what you want them to do or give you what you want to have. You give it when someone behaves in ways you like or expect. If altruistic love exists, you can theoretically love everyone in the world.Ĭonditional love is a type of love that you give according to what you believe someone deserves. You can love a romantic partner, a parent, a child, a sibling, or a friend. The roles of each factor depending on the type of relationship. Sternberg suggests, in his triangular theory of love, that love is a combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Others say it’s a social construct or an idea brought to us through advertising and the media. Some people say love transcends time and space. This is most pronounced and perhaps makes the most sense during the initial stages of a relationship, often referred to as the “puppy love” stage.įor most people, love isn’t love without loving actions. Recent peer-reviewed studies reveal that this is much more common with romantic love, and can produce an effect in the brain quite similar to addiction. Scientifically speaking, the feeling of loving and being loved by someone activates the brain’s reward system, which releases feel-good hormones. Genuine love creates a safe, healthy relationship and environment that considers the needs of all of those involved, including your own needs and own well-being, and compromise to some degree is often involved. Overall, though, genuine and mature love involves having or continually working toward having a healthy relationship, be it platonic or romantic relationships. Others believe that one can have romantic love for multiple partners rather than just one person. For some, love requires loyalty to one person. It can be a decision or a commitment to build and/or maintain a healthy relationship(s). It can be a way of thinking about someone. Love can be a feeling of affection for another person, a place, an animal, and activity, or even a thing, and there are different types and spectrums of love. If you’ve ever discussed what love is with a group of friends or within different relationships, you probably noticed that everybody seems to have their own unique view of the subject. Connect With A Therapist From Almost Anywhereīefore you can understand unconditional love, you need to have a firm grasp of what love is in general.
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